Well, who knew that a remake of a completely serious early Fox network cop show would work as an over-the-top comedy? I used to be against Hollywood’s lack of originality, as they adapted old shows, recent movies, and even board games. But now I say “bring it on!” I’m even going to help the empty souls and brains in Hollywood with killer ideas and give them the cast lists to do it.
5 – Alf
Will Smith just loves action movies involving aliens. And who better to welcome the perverted alien from the planet Melmac, than Big Willy Style himself. Though this isn’t your older brother’s alf puppet we all know and are creeped out by. Instead he will be a CG creation played by Andy Serkis. I’m actually half-worried this is going to happen.
4 – Who’s the Boss
This flick would actually be the indie darling of the year. It’s really a coming of age story about Jonathan (Chris Colfer from Glee) and how he has never been attracted to the daughter of his “manny.” Samantha will be played by Emma Watson. Tony will be played by Matt Leblanc, who is having relations with his boss, Angela, played by Cate Blanchett, and her mother Mona, played by Betty White. Geez, this one’s going to be a heavy hitter come Sundance season.
3 – Golden Girls
Thank you for being a friend. The Golden Girls are at it again . This megahit gross-out comedy will be in the vein of The Hangover as “the girls” get wild in New Orleans and remember nothing of the night before and lose Ma. Brad Garrett will play Dorothy, because lets be honest, they have the same voice. Helen Mirren will play the sweet and lovably naive Rose. Susan Sarandon will play the libido of steel, Blanche. And “Ma” will be played by Cloris Leachman. And who could forget the new addition of the cast, Tyler Perry as Medea.
2 – Perfect Strangers
Cousin Larry (Shia Lebouf) was living the dream. He finally left home and was ready to start fresh in the big city. That is, until his foreign cousin Balki Bartokomous (Johnny Depp) has arrived unexpectedly to turn cousin Larry’s world upside down. While this would at first be hilarious, Larry finds there is more to Balki than first thought. Homeland Security has been investigating him for years and suspects him of coming into the country to carry out the next major terror attack. Can cousin Larry stop him in time?
1 – Highway 2 Heaven
It’s a race to save souls. Jonathan (Ryan Gosling) is trying to earn his wings and finally get into heaven. But in order to do that he needs to beat Roma Downey for redemption. He becomes partners with Mark (Vin Diesel) the most furious driver in the land. Together they speed across America and several scandalous parts of South America to save whoever they can before Roma Downey does first.