Yes, for most of us reading this, the 1980s will always hold a special, nostalgic place in our hearts. The arcades, the malls, the roller-skating rinks, the food courts, and of course, the movies. I’m not sure a single person who grew up in the ’80s wouldn’t list The Goonies as one of his or her favorite films. Not to mention the music and the early-morning cartoons. We were quite spoiled.
There do, however, remain a few movies that have outlasted their welcome. Some may be offended, few may agree, but this is my list and I’m going for it.
First off, I realize many people from Utah Valley will be outraged that Kevin Bacon’s signature role has been cited as overrated. I’ll admit the soundtrack is excellent, but let’s get serious. Dancing in public is outlawed? How is anything like that supposed to be enforced? It’s completely over-the-top. What do people do at weddings, just sit there and stare at the decor? I’m sorry, but it’s a stupid premise benefited by an excellent soundtrack.
I HATE this theme song. Of course, that’s no reason to dislike the entire movie. I just find the premise completely stupid. The ghosts are dumb and look like they belong on a kids TV show. The Stay Puffed Marshmallow man is supposed to be the climax? And the androgynous villian at the end hardly does anything. And Rick Moranis and Sigorney Weaver turning into disgusting “dogs?” Not to mention is has the ever-irritating Annie Potts.
DRIVING MISS DAISY
This is one movie the Academy got completely wrong. This is the only movie to EVER win Best Picture without the director being nominated. And how well has this movie held up? I’d argue that it hasn’t. The movie is, essentially, plotless and revolves around an old-ass woman and her relationship with her chauffeur. Can you say ‘boring?’ The writers try to bring in some racial elements, but none of which are eye-opening. This is the movie that beat out Dead Poets Society and Field of Dreams. It’s a head-scratcher, for sure.
INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM
I don’t believe this movie has a great reputation to begin with, but it certainly doesn’t deserve to be claimed a ‘classic’ simply because it’s an Indiana Jones movie. The stunts are absurd and outlandish, the heroin is a complete loud and annoying whiner, and the kid from The Goonies serves no purpose. The humor is slapstick, and the story basically sucks. It doesn’t even belong in the franchise (let’s not even talk about the 4th disaster, though). This movie deserved to flop, and Spielberg should be ashamed that he let his girlfriend be the star and wreck his entire movie. The opening scene in the first movie kicked ass–this one takes place in a nightclub with Spielberg’s squeeze eeking out some show tune. I don’t know why it has its defenders or why it made so much money. Horrible movie.
I’m not a huge Kubrick fan, and it’s movies like this that make me feel I’m in the right. Interesting camera work, but that’s about it. The only reason this movie is even memorable is because of Jack Nicholson’s famous ‘Heeeer’s Johnny!’ parody. Shelley Duvall is perhaps one of the most grotesque actresses to ever appear on screen, but at least her performance gets stronger, whereas Jack seems to stop giving a shit and just acts as crazy as he can, thinking that translates to scary. There are so many scenes that make zero sense (unless you’ve read the equally stupid book), and way too many long-winded conversations exist between Jack and the ghosts. This movie is slow-paced, isn’t frightening (it’s gimmicky), the setting is ugly, and, try as you might, there’s just no meaning behind it.