5 Worst Movie Haunts to do Paranormal Investigations

Kenny D October 9, 2012 3
5 Worst Movie Haunts to do Paranormal Investigations

So I did some ghost hunting this past weekend. It’s not something that I would do for fun, but I was invited and I have always been interested in what happens on all of those ghost hunters shows on cable TV. I like to think of myself as a skeptic with an open mind. So I went to an abandoned mill built over 130 years ago with the protection of a flashlight and glowstick. There was a group of 10 ghost investigators in our party, including a local radio DJ and a host of a Syfy paranormal show. There were a few people who had the best high-tech ghost-gear this side of Ghostbusters. I could have easily chosen to be protected with their ghost meters, but instead chose to investigate “the most malevolent room” in the condemned mill with 2 women. Not smart.

So my list this week had me thinking of haunted real estate from the movies that I would avoid from ghost investigating at all costs.

5The Amityville Horror
amityville house, haunted house, scary movie, bad real estate, pig man
I’d be frowning too if I were married to Margot Kidder

This movie is based on the book of the same name. George and Kathy Lutz move their family to a quaint country home and they get it for a bargain. Problem is, a guy murdered his entire family there a year earlier because the voices in his head told him to. George is destined to commit the exact same murder, even handling the axe of the previous killer. Thankfully for his family, they manage to make it out alive and never return to the house.

Any number of terrible things could happen while investigating the Lutz house that is claimed to be based on true events. I know one thing. The house does not like new people. It wants to be left alone. It consistently tells new occupants to “Get Out!” Don’t bring any kids or they will befriend a ghost named Jody. There is no hope for you even if you bless the house either, the spirits of the house can follow you and cause death or madness. Guaranteed I would never play Ouija board in the secret room of the basement, and I sure wouldn’t want to find out why the red-eyed pig man was there.

4Burnt Offerings
scary old movies, scariest movie, haunted house movie, scary house
This new filter on instagram is terrifying

When people think of having a Summer home, they typically don’t imagine living in a luxurious manor. Nor do they imagine having to take care of an old unseen woman living upstairs. The terrible thing about the house in Burnt Offerings is that is treats you like a frog in a pot slowly burning alive. The price is a steal and the house couldn’t look better. It’s only after a few months that you start to feel a need to stay at the house, and if you ever feel the need to leave, the house won’t let you.

Any ghost investigating here and the house would possess one of your party, making them either extremely angry or to run away. Either one of these things would lead to a gruesome accident or death. And that is exactly what the house wants. Every time one of its occupants is injured or killed, the house becomes as new. This movie is terrifying because there are no ghosts, it’s the house that is alive.

3The Changeling
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Satan take the wheel

The Changeling is the scariest movie ever made. What makes it so scary is that it is not so simple as a ghost seeking justice, but that even when justice is met, the horror will never end (Similar to Samara in The Ring). In Changeling, the ghost of a boy resides. And while that may not sound so scary, it makes for the best slow-burn horror experience of this generation of scary flicks.

This movie is based on events that took place at the Henry Treat Rogers Mansion in Denver. If you want to stir up any spirits here, just be ready for spontaneous combustion, windows shattering, doors slamming open and shut. If you see a ball slowly rolling down the stairs, you’re in trouble. And you’ll never look at wheelchairs the same way again.

2Poltergeist
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Kim Jong Il in the suburbs

One of the most classic horror films. No one can ever forget the classic line “They’re Here!” If your daughter tells you that something is after her, it’s time to move. Whatever you do, don’t ever open the door if a preacher in a dark suit drops by. Don’t think he is a LDS missionary or Jehovah’s Witness. He is seeking your soul, but not to save it.

cain, scariest character, preacher, horror movie, scariest man, jehovah's witness
Amish you so much!

Your big issue with doing any ghost hunting here, is that you’re most likely going to slip into a portal to hell. The house seeks out the weakest person in any group and eliminates any person who gets in the way. And there is no way to drive the spirits away either because, like any true haunted house, it’s built on old Native American burial grounds. If you need protection, make sure to bring a creepy midget medium. And please, get rid of your TV!

1The Shining
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Double the flavor, double the fun…

Easily the best setting for a horror movie ever. The Overlook Hotel spans many acres, but somehow the open space for the small Torrance family creates unspeakable terror. Sure, Danny came prepackaged with his own spiritual issues, but The Overlook Hotel is home to dozens of ghastly figures. They prey upon the unhappiness and cabin fever of Jack Torrance and he becomes the homicidal dad.

Though the exterior shots of The Shining’s hotel are of the Timberline Hotel, the actual inspiration of Stephen King came from staying in room 217 of The Stanley Hotel in Colorado. Several cable TV ghost hunters have investigated it. All I’m saying is that if I am tempted by any women in bathtubs, I will turn and run. If I wanted to get the best supernatural readings, I think the ballroom would be a good place to start.

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Don’t judge Fozzie Bear…He needs the money.

3 Comments »

  1. Sarah October 10, 2012 at 6:17 am -

    Spooky! I would add the house from The Haunting to this list. Not the AWFUL remake with Catherine Zeta Jones, Liam Neeson, and Owen Wilson. But the original version from the 60’s with Russ Tamblyn.

    As for Margot Kidder, I’ve seen all of the screen tests for Lois Lane in the original Superman, and say what you will about her, but she did the very best out of all of the gals auditioning for the movie, Superman!

    I’m glad you survived your night of haunted hunting, because the world of the living still needs your humor and movie criticisms!

  2. The Former 786 October 12, 2012 at 3:31 pm -

    You just had to put the bear/dog picture in there, didn’t you?

  3. Andy W. October 20, 2012 at 2:56 am -

    Margot Kidder by far gave the best screen test for Superman. Shame she went crazy.

    Changeling is NOT scary!

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