I can’t believe October is nearly over and Halloween is already upon us. It makes me sad because I enjoy making horror-themed lists. Today, in honor of the new Blu-Ray release Monsters University, I thought it would be interesting to take a look at what could be another prequel of sorts to the classic villains in slasher flicks. If we go back far enough, maybe we’d find out that they actually went to high school together.
Let’s take a walk through the halls of Slasher High.
At first sight, there may not be anything unusual about John Wayne Gacy High School. In the sleepy town of Haddonfield, Illinois the citizens just enjoy keeping to themselves. The school sits at the end of Elm Street and is seemingly in an Autumn-like state the entire year.
In this high school, there are the standard cliques. You have the jocks, the popular girls and the drama students. Only, at Gacy High, there are a few interesting students that stand out in each clique. Jason Vorhees is not only the goalie of the school’s hockey team, but he is jock royalty. He has also lettered in track as well. Many spectators have been amazed that he is able to keep up with the fastest runners in the state, even while he is keeping a constant walking pace. Half of his popularity stems from the fact that on holiday weekends, he has some crazy parties at his mom’s cabin at Crystal Lake.
No one really knows Michael Myers. He’s the kind of emo kid who sits in the back corner desk in class and writes poetry in his notebook held in a William Shatner trapper keeper. He has the kind of face that is entirely forgettable. He has recently been seeing the school counselor, Dr. Loomis, in regards to his most recent poem about stalking a certain girl. It didn’t help matters when he explained that the aforementioned girl is actually his long-lost sister.
Thankfully, Myers’ English teacher, Miss Annie Wilkes, is very patient. She knows that genius takes time and she is willing to do whatever she can to help young authors reach their potential. Just don’t try and leave class early. You don’t want to get on her bad side.
One constant of JWG High School is the school’s loyal janitor, Fred Krueger. He has been cleaning the bathrooms and hallways of the famed school for a decade now and shows no signs of slowing. Never have you seen a janitor be so happy with their job. Just try not to spill your tray at lunch, because you will hear other students chant, “1, 2, Freddy’s coming for you…”
Every school needs a nerd. The unfortunate kid at JWG High only has one name, Pinhead. It was given to him by his gym teacher. He is constantly mocked and made to climb the rope in gym. It’s not his fault that his parents are big believers in the benefits of acupuncture. It’s also very possible that he has braces and head gear to complete the nerd look. One day he will make everyone suffer, just as he does.
Let’s not forget the foreign exchange student. Her name is Sadako, but everyone calls her Samara. She doesn’t say much, nor does she show her face. She just sits in class, drawing pictures of horses in her math book. She has been known to invite people to her house to watch some home movies, but they’re never heard from again.
There is one student who drives every teacher crazy and can often be found in the principal’s office. Charles Lee Ray, known as “Chucky” by his classmates, is the very definition of class clown. He’s always been a little short for his age, but that has never stopped him from standing out in a crowd and pulling mischievous, often dangerous pranks.
Few teachers have the patience for Chucky’s antics and he is often sent to Principal Norma Bates’ office. She rules with an iron fist, yet is rarely seen. The students have mockingly given her the moniker of “Mother.” The Vice Principal, Norman Bates, is a meek man who is often too soft on rebellious kids. However, his office, full of stuffed animals, creeps everyone out. Everything at John Wayne Gacy High School was going fine. Sure, a few kids disappeared every weekend, but that was business as usual. Everyone of these characters were feeling great about their time at high school. That is, until a new student showed up one day…