Nothing in movies should surprise me anymore. In the last Transformers movie, we found out that the Transformers caused the extinction of the dinosaurs and began the ice age. If we’re not careful and don’t rein Michael Bay in, he may cause the extinction of the human race.
“Transformers: The Last Knight Which Wasn’t Screened for Critics” is the fifth movie in this dreadfully long-running series. Sure, the first movie surprised most of us by being strangely half-decent on the first viewing, but then Bay just kept making them.
Mark Wahlberg is back as the genius inventor with a soft spot for the Autobots. However, a specialized government task force, led by Josh Duhamel, is on the hunt to destroy every Transformer, including the good ones. Much like the audience, no one in the movie can even decipher who is who.
Meanwhile, Sir Anthony Hopkins is a historian with a robot butler. Hopkins has dedicated his life and research to King Arthur, who aligned with early Transformer knights back in medieval times. Together, Hopkins, Marky Mark and a British Megan Fox join forces to find the mystical robot staff of Merlin to stop the incoming planet of Cybertron from crashing into Earth.
I want you to read over that last paragraph again. I’ll wait…
It’s that kind of lunacy that describes the entire experience of watching this movie. The plot is so preposterous, that it borders on Fast and Furious 6 in terms of ridiculousness. The difference between this movie between near unwatchable and critically well-received is the missing element of The Rock (The person, not the Michael Bay movie with Sean Connery).
This movie is so unintentionally hilarious, that it feels as if it was planned that way. I honestly can’t hate it because I had such a good time shaking my head, rolling my eyes and guffawing over Marky Mark’s delivery.
Here’s the thing. This is a near worthless flick. But, it’s also somehow the 3rd best in the series. It edges out Age of Extinction and Revenge of the Fallen. If you maintain any sense of integrity, I’m hoping you haven’t seen either.
The story, although asinine, is actually somewhat memorable, which is more than I can say about the other two. Also, even though Hopkins character is inconsequential, he is clearly having the time of his life here. I can’t even fault him for his role, because he’s the only one who gets it.
In the end, we get space medusa, robot knights of the round, the off-screen death of 2 billion people, and a Kirkland generic brand C3PO all in a hilarious movie that is worth of a D.