Total Recall vs. Wimpy Kid

Two weeks have passed since we’ve been graced with the end of Batman’s saga. Sadly, last week was void of anything quality to see. Everyone I talk to asks, “What now?” and “Where do we go from here?” Besides The Hobbit, which is now apparently going to be 3 movies, it’s hard to think of anything worthwhile. Though I’m hoping for a few surprises.

This week we have Total Recall and Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days. Ho hum.

I was excited at first about a Total Recall remake. My stance on reboots is fairly lenient, but only if the movie was just half-decent to begin with. I side with Andy on this. I liked the reboot of Fright Night (coincidentally starring Colin Farrell) but disliked the remake of Nightmare on Elm Street. The Amazing Spider-Man won me over for the most part, but I still feel that it didn’t need the redundant origin. If we get a reboot, at least change the story. Improving it never hurts.

You know you’re movie is not a classic in the first place if the question on everyone’s mind is “Does it still have the woman with 3 boobs?” I’m surprised the Hollywood execs haven’t remade Schwarzenegger’s movie The Running Man. It is very similar to the dystopian feel and theme of Hunger Games.

Total Recall stars Farrell as Quaid, a factory worker whose life turns upside down as a malfunction happens while visiting Rekall, which implants fake fantasy memories into people. All of a sudden he is a super spy and the world is out to get him, even his wife, played by Kate Beckinsale (The most attractive woman on earth).

My equation for this is as follows.

Arnold’s Total Recall – Camp – Mars x Beckinsale = Farrell’s Total RecallI like Farrell as a leading man. I would choose him over someone like Sam Worthington any day. I would even choose him over Schwarzenegger himself. He has the charisma and intensity to control the screen. Sadly he wasn’t able to show his charisma and humor in Recall at all. He just played confused and angry. Kate Beckinsale played the Sharon Stone role and gives meat to it. She plays a great villain and I was happy for the screen time she got. Jessica Biel has man shoulders. I suppose she does fine in the movie, but anyone could have played her part. I also wish I got to see more from Bill Nighy and Bryan Cranston. It felt like those two had a connecting backstory but the movie never gets into it.

The set pieces and action is pretty great. I rarely dislike car chases, especially if they can fly. And the scenery is made up of what seem to be floating ghettos. I just wish we as an audience felt more peril, or at least had some mystery as to what is real, and who exactly is using Quaid. Len Wiseman, the director, spells it right out for us. Apparently he feels it not important.

I think Total Recall is very watchable, but it just feels empty and another unnecessary remake. My biggest gripe is that it felt more like an action movie than a science fiction movie. And when it’s based off a story by Philip K. Dick I expect more.

But don’t worry the 3 boobed prostitute is still there. Phew.

Now onto Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days. It’s the third effort based on the popular children’s graphic novels. Greg is apparently now just finishing 7th grade and trying to enjoy his summer, but his dad (Steven Zahn) won’t let him play video games and compels him to get a job. So Greg lies about a daily job at a country club, where he actually does go, but just to see his crush.

This movie won me over in the first 10 minutes, then proceeded to let me down. It’s almost like the twitter-pated feeling you get when you have a crush, but then get sad and apathetic when you realize they have a crush on your best friend.

This is a movie full of skits and comical situations with a plot that tries to resurface every once in a while. While watching this movie I was reminded why I like Steve Zahn so much, but then also realized that he is rarely ever in a good movie. The lone standout is the older brother Rodrick (Devon Bostick). He steals every scene, not that it’s difficult to do in this movie. Another problem with this movie is that its child cast is sadly in their awkward stages. Hey, it happens to the best of us, but we shouldn’t have to watch it on film. The next movie will have to be called Diary of a Wimpy Man, because soon this kid will be sporting facial hair.

Is the movie likable? Yes. Is it fun? For kids yes, but even then it’s a little slow. It’s a rental at best.They are both only rental quality. But I was able to get into Total Recall more.

P.S. Do we officially have to start calling it the Wimpy Kid trilogy?