The World’s End vs You’re Next

Kenny D August 23, 2013 0
The World’s End vs You’re Next

At long last, one of the most anticipated movies of the year is being released this weekend. No, it’s not Mortal Instruments. Look for that review later. It’s the re-teaming of Pegg, Frost and Wright in a Sci-fi love explosion. Sounds sticky. These great men are looking to survive the weekend as they take on masked men who are out for blood.

You know what? I just barely found out about Ben Affleck playing Batman. I am a little upset to put it lightly. There are few worse choices than this. Even fat Val Kilmer could pull it off better than Affleck. I can’t dwell too much on this or I won’t be able to get any reviews done.

The World’s End

worlds end movie, simon pegg, nick frost, edgar wrightAt long last we see the third part in the make-shift Cornetto (Blood and Ice Cream) Trilogy of Edgar Wright. Being an unabashed fanboy of Spaced, Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, I have been eagerly awaiting the latest combination of Wright, Nick Frost and Simon Pegg.

The team has mastered homages of zombie flicks, buddy cop movies and now they take on alien robots overtaking a small town in England.

As told in the opening credits, the crew of 5 young friends planned to take on the golden mile, which consists of drinking a pint at each of the 12 pubs in their hometown. Sadly, the group never quite finished the golden mile and that failure has always haunted perpetual man-child, Gary (Pegg). He recruits the old gang consisting of Andy (Frost), Oliver (Martin Freeman), Steven (Paddy Considine) and Peter (Eddie Marsan) to finally complete the golden mile 20 years later. Each of the men have grown up and left their hooligan past behind them, but join in to appease Gary. Though, something about the townspeople seems “off,” and as the crew get further on in their pub crawl, they start to realize what they’re up against and what has taken over their hometown.

Any fan of the previous two movies (Shaun & Fuzz) will gladly take the cinematic pub crawl with these guys, who clearly have chemistry. It was fantastic to see Frost play the straight man to Pegg’s immature booze hound. Rosamund Pike adds a small dose of the feminine touch into a movie that could almost be considered a sausage party. She plays Oliver’s sister, who both Gary and Steven have a past with. Though, as I said before, the true romance in this trilogy is the bromance between Frost and Pegg.

In each movie in this trilogy, there is a moment where the movie transitions from clever and chuckle-worthy to flat-out hilarious. In Shaun of the Dead, it’s when they first see their infected roommate, Pete. In Hot Fuzz, the comedy really picks up at the Romeo & Juliet production. And in The World’s End, the pace finds its footing as soon as Gary fights a young teen in the restroom.

This movie takes its time to introduce you to 5 men and gives you time to see how each of them might be better off without the influence of Gary in their lives. Sadly the story drops by the wayside as the bulk of the movie consists of conversations about getting blind drunk, but there are a few moments in the end where the characters are able to share truthful moments with each other just as the world is seemingly crashing down around them.

The fighting scenes are incredibly fun to watch. This is easily the group’s least gory movie. There are gallons of blood being thrown in every direction, but it is the blue blood coming from the robots. If this movie weren’t rife with vulgarity, this could have been passed off as PG-13.

Do I love this movie as much as Shaun or Hot Fuzz? Not yet, but time and repeated viewings will tell. There were several instances when I was laughing so hard that I couldn’t hear the next line of dialogue. So, there’s definite replay value for every joke and reference I may have missed.

Director Edgar Wright knows his audience because he is one of the audience. His frenzied direction, yet purposeful attention to detail maintains his role as one of the most unique directors today.

This movie is very heavy on the sci-fi and also concentrates on a group of crass men trying to have one last hurrah even as their lives are in danger. New viewers of this type of referential comedy may not be in on the joke. However, if you are a fan, you’ll be rewarded with a movie that caps of the Cornetto Trilogy brilliantly. See it.

You’re Next

you're next, horror movies, bad horror moviesSeriously, another home invasion movie involving masked intruders? Is this needed? You should know that I’ve never been okay with animal masks since I saw that terrifying dog-bear guy in The Shining.

The story of You’re Next follows the horror movie formula and is very simple. Two very wealthy (so we’re told) parents invite their grown children to a mansion in the woods for a family reunion of sorts. Each of the siblings brings their significant others, which in turn means more victims and bloodshed for the audience. While at their parent’s anniversary dinner, a masked man starts picking off the group with a crossbow.

Normally, you’d think this would send the family into a panic. But no, these characters barely respond to any of the grisly deaths happening in the house. I don’t know whether to blame the actors or the writing. But seriously, let’s think about it. If a guy is watching you from outside and shooting arrows, you would probably close the blinds. If there is a killer wearing a sheep mask outside, you don’t let your daughter run outside to get the car. (That was the dad’s idea, by the by. Way to go dad.) If someone is murdered inside their room, you don’t just sit on the stairs and cry while your daughter-in-law surveys the room by herself.

Sometimes you can laugh at horror movies because the characters make all the expected mistakes. You always wonder if these people have ever seen a horror movie. The characters in You’re Next respond to every death with all the terror as if someone hacked their email account.

This may sound cliche, but I wanted these one-dimensional characters to die. The best character in the film is, as always, the “final girl.” She is the girlfriend of one of the yuppie children. Plot twist time! She was raised on a survivalist compound and has the necessary skills to survive in crisis situations.

I hated so many things about this movie. There is a terribly overused synthesizer soundtrack which was most likely recorded on the producer’s Casio in post-production. I hated the twist. I hated the wooden acting.

But most of all, this movie is not scary. It wastes the potential of evil men wearing animal masks and turns it into Home Alone.

I am generally very forgiving of crappy horror flicks, but this one is terrible. Skip it.

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