After not being able to lose money at the box office, Marvel is just throwing things at the wall at this point. The studio has proved that they can balance ensemble team-up flicks with every Avengers iteration. Now, we have Eternals, an origin story for this relatively unknown team of 10, but while also exploring the origin of the universe itself.
The Eternals have been protecting our planet for 7,000 years. They’ve been given the directive to only interfere in the lives of humans if, and only if, the Deviants prey upon the people.
Essentially, a giant robot space god will only allow the Eternals to get involved in skirmishes involving viney space lizards, but definitely not when countless sky beams threaten the world or when a purple tyrant snaps half of the universe out of existence.
Director Chloe Zhao (Nomadland) takes on the reins for what was meant to be one of the most practical effect-heavy MCU flicks. She has previously utilized environments that becomes just as much a character as the people portrayed in her films. Yet, I can’t help but think her ambition was far too high for a random 26th movie in an established franchise.
Let’s just call it out. Eternals boasts a broad cast of 10 heroes give or take a few side characters. The movie attempts to dive into each character, but at the same time jumps back and forth through flashbacks to flesh them out. Their story is one of an unconventional family of god-like beings that have their own disputes and eventually need to come to terms to save the world once again. Yet, somehow in a sluggish 2 hours 37 minutes, nothing is accomplished when it comes to actual character development. They’re more a collection of one-dimensional attitudes and powers.
All you’ll take away from this movie is that Kirkland’s Justice League fight literal garden variety beasts through a filter of 40% desaturation.
The cast list is impressive. Gemma Chan (Crazy Rich Asians) leads the team along with discount Superman Richard Madden (Game of Thrones). When the world is threatened, they attempt to regroup with their team of Eternals (played by Salma Hayek, Kumail Nanjiani, Angelina Jolie, Barry Keoghan, among many others). Charisma must be a fading attribute because the actors look just as tired as their 7,000 year old characters.
There is a reason for the team to get back together in present day. So, we go on a Muppet Movie type adventure to gather everyone up. However, we have to hear the same explanation told to EVERY SINGLE ETERNAL – ONE AT A TIME! In a movie that is already 87% exposition, it doesn’t help to have the existential plot described at least eight times. When you get tired of the constant super meetings (that could have been an email), the deviants will attack in an attempt to improve the pacing. I commend the movie for having life-threatening stakes, but it somehow comes off as hollow. The Eternals fight with shiny gold powers that leave plenty of room for impact and entertainment.
The best part of this experience is what it may mean for story potential in future movies. Eternal creates a mythology behind the history of the universe’s creation and opens up the MCU to galactic and omniscient threats.
With its multi-millennia spanning timeline, Eternals may feel epic to many viewers. But with the snail’s pace that feels like a millennia, it makes for one of the least rewatchable Marvel flicks. There’s no room to breathe, (but somehow there’s room to snore) with a gigantic cast of heroes, an existential plot, hollow action and a minor attempt to establish a villain somewhere in there. It feels like one of those mid-00s comic book cash grabs but with a far higher budget. If you’re a MCU fan, you’ll see it regardless and I’d love to hear about what you enjoyed. D+
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