I’d like to credit movie-goers as a whole. We are becoming more smart and more aware of shovel-ready tentpole movies that may not be worth our money. Nearly every major recent movie is around 2 1/2 hours and has an over-reliance on cheap special effects, but these big budget movies are consistently losing money at the box office. Now, we have Indiana Jones returning to the big screen under the Disney umbrella. This should be interesting.
In this final chapter, we see an aged Dr. Jones as he struggles with the neighboring hippies who won’t turn their music down and college students who don’t care about the expository lessons he mumbles through. The timeline brings us to the middle of the space race (not that it’s important to the story at all). Indiana is once again brought into the middle of a treasure-seeking adventure as his goddaughter Helena (Phoebe Waller-Bridge) seeks his help to find the other half of Archimedes’ dial of destiny, that may harness the power over time itself.
Though, they are not alone in this pursuit. A random nazi (Mads Mikkelsen) that Indiana bumped into once, has his own intent in finding the artifact. He, along with a team of goons, race Indy and his team to change the course of history.
Taking the directorial reins from Steven Spielberg for this fifth feature is James Mangold (Logan, Ford v Ferrari). He echoes the look of the franchise so far and creates some really immersive shots that remind audiences why we enjoy traveling the globe with Indiana.
The first section of the movie puts us right back to the glory days of this series. We get to see a young Indiana Jones sabotaging a nazi mission to retrieve precious artifacts for their own devious purposes. Everything from the visual flair, the music, and stunts feels like a short film that could be pulled right from the classic movies. There is some completely noticeable de-aging going on, but if you squint and avoid Ford’s older voice when Indiana is talking, it feels so magical.
Beyond the starting 20 minutes, this movie has almost nothing to offer. Harrison Ford is still a legend and I’m happy to see him in this role again, but the disservice to the character makes him look pathetic. He’s a crotchety old man that is intellectually and physically bested by every character and his legacy is dismissed as nothing more than grave-robbing and privilege. His goddaughter Helena is a plucky know-it-all who is only there to humble the hero we’ve all grown to love. Phoebe Waller-Bridge has plenty of charisma, but her constant demeanor is snide and doesn’t have an arc of her own to help the audience find compassion to her character.
Each action scene comes down to a car chase (of sorts). Surely, this was done to add intensity while covering up the stunts that Ford can no longer perform, but each pursuit feels so watered down and sleepy. This could have been remedied by the treasure hunting aspects of Indy, but even those elements feel forgettable in the scheme of the series so far.
Once the movie skids to its surprising (for all the wrong reasons) conclusion, you can’t help but wonder if they ran out of film or money, because the climax feels lazily taped together. The concepts behind the artifact are interesting, but the movie wastes far too much time with mustachioed villains and condescending banter from Helena.
We all remember the atrocities of Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Between nuking the fridge and Shia swinging with monkeys, we were all embarrassed for what that movie tried to get away with. Yet, within that movie, there are elements of cinematic magic that are still memorable. I bring up the fourth movie because it feels like James Mangold has made a feature that wants to be the complete 180 from the previous movie. He succeeded. The Dial of Destiny is never really embarrassing and won’t have cringe-inducing moments. Yet, in his pursuit of playing it safe, he made the most boring iteration in the series.
Kingdom of the Crystal Skull aimed big and missed big. Dial of Destiny aims small and misses small. But, at least Crystal Skull attempted to be entertaining. That alone gives that movie the edge over this sleeper.
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny has a few things working for it. A great introduction, John Williams’ commanding score, and Harrison Ford wearing the hat once again. However, Disney seemingly hates this character and the fans’ appreciation for him. The action scenes are tired, the villains are undercooked, and the plot feels like it had no ending planned. I liked the very last scene for sentimentality sake, but overall this movie’s destiny has always been a C-.
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