Romantic comedies once swarmed theaters as much as cape-flicks do now. The cheesy romantic ideals of meet-cutes, little white lies, and the climactic chase for love died 15 years ago. I personally believe the Hallmark Channel bought the rights to the three plots of standard rom-coms and have been making a killing ever since. Yet now, we have the return to an old favorite formula with two stars that peaked in the 90s as well.
Owen Wilson is a precautious father and divorced high school math teacher. His one friend, Sarah Silverman, invites him to a concert where Jennifer Lopez and her fiancé are planning to get married on stage. However, in the middle of the concert, JLo finds out that her fiancé has been cheating on her, and thus decides to randomly marry Owen Wilson. He says yes because he’s essentially a cardboard cutout of a character.
Both JLo and OWi deal with the emotional consequences of their impulsive nuptials. They do their best to learn about each other all while avoiding paparazzi, jealousy and gaining real feelings.
It must be said and it should be acknowledged. This is not a good movie. However, it’s a window to a more simple time. It relies on long-lost tropes that were once chicken noodle soup for the starry-eyed soul. It has the quirky best friend, a charming yet fiendish ex, an all-too-loud soundtrack, and the inevitable minor conflict that could have been solved with one conversation.
Rom coms live and die by the chemistry of the two leads. That’s a bit tricky here. Both stars are perfectly capable of being in a movie this simple. Yet, Owen Wilson plays his role as a dad at all times, that even his care for Lopez feels father-like. He’s always considerate and wants her to achieve her dreams, and never seems like he’s really all that interested in her. Even his moments of jealousy feel more false than the set-up of the movie. Also, just in case you were wondering (as I was), Wilson is 53 and Lopez is 52. Her character feels far younger than his.
Lopez is still playing the wistful dreamer type that she established in Maid in Manhattan; only this time she should probably be a world-weary superstar. The script does its best to make everyone seem just so pleasant and it feels like a fake movie shown in a real movie. Even Lopez’s cheating ex (Maluma, who’s also a recording artist) is made to be a really decent guy that just got caught up in his own fame.
I half believe this movie was made to be a promotional vehicle for Lopez and Maluma’s album. There’s plenty of new music that Lopez performs throughout the movie (in character), but it all feels like an excuse to pad runtime for several Lopez-enhanced montages.
Also, you know that moment in every celebrity-focused movie where a talk show host (typically Jay Leno) makes corny jokes about the character when they reach their low point? Well, Marry Me goes above and beyond by casting Jimmy Fallon in a fairly significant role. I’m not sure how it happened, but Jimmy Fallon somehow fails at acting like Jimmy Fallon.
Marry Me is neither rom nor com, as it doesn’t feel all that romantic or funny. Yet, the two established leads elevate the content and make this pastel-infused flick watchable.
I’ve been a little harsh on Marry Me. It’s not horrendous. Truthfully, for everyone who’s missed this genre, this will feel like a warm hug. This is a movie that will coast by and be liked because of the pleasant formula. Though, in truth, if this was released in the glut of 90s and 00s Rom-Coms, this would still be an entirely forgettable movie. I wouldn’t mind if the genre came back and once again gave us all unrealistic expectations about love and big city professions, but this is not the movie that signals that return. D+
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