<Scene: It’s a few hours past closing at the Disney head office. Disney CEO Bob Iger strolls through the halls with a purpose. As he approaches The Vault, he is stopped in his tracks as he hears a very friendly voice. It’s the non-corporeal frozen ghost of Walt Disney. Walt looks concerned and asks Bob, “Why are you here at The Vault, when there are so many new movies you need to make?>
<A musical intro begins…>
Bob Iger: We’re remaking The Lion King, so former fans beware!
Walt Disney: Well, what’s wrong with the original? I’m sure you wouldn’t dare.
Bob: We’re gonna make it all CG, not cartoons like before—we’ll cast Billy Eichner as Timon, Seth Rogen as the boar.
Walt: Thus far a rather…uninspiring thing.
Bob: Oh I just can’t wait for the new King!
Walt: You’ve rather a long way to go, young CEO, if you think…
Bob: No one writing new stuff!
Walt: You’re not enriching the story?
Bob: Computer animation everywhere!
Walt: So it isn’t live action?
Bob: No one saying “stop it!”
Walt: Except for me…
Bob: Remake classics each year!
Walt: Now see here!
Bob: Yes, the King’s been on Broadway.
Walt: Which seems like it should be good enough…
Bob: But this time we’ll have Be-yon-ce!
Walt: I think it’s time you realize you’ve lost the Disney heart
Bob: Disney/Marvel’s in the business to make money ‘stead of art.
Walt: If this is where the company is headed, count me out!
It sounds dull, it sounds hollow, imagination drought!
My legacy is tarnished, and it stings!
Bob: Oh Walt, just make way for the King!
[FUN, YET DEPRESSING MUSICAL INTERLUDE]
Bob: Don’t gaze too close.
It may look cruddy.
The lions’ mouths move
like the Air Buddies!
Walt: Not cool!
Disney Executives: We purchased every property, now we sing!
Kill creativity, pull all the strings!
We’ll just sit back and wait for the ca-chings!
Bob and Execs: Oh, we won’t even have to change a thing!
After all, we do it for the bling!
Release it even iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiif……it’s a D!
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